God Tells Atheists to Run Ad Campaign.

December 5, 2008

Article by Mallory Simon: Atheists take aim at Christmas

Atheists from around the country are implementing a new campaign to dispel God-believers, in an effort to push the word of God. You see, God has been speaking to atheists for the better part of a year now, since His disgust with starting the Christmas holiday earlier and earlier each year, boiled over. His master plan is to have the atheists convince the fundamentalists He does not exist so they will stop using Jesus as an excuse to give gifts to one another and take a couple days off work.

The atheists, who claim they do not believe in God, actually have a direct line to God now and are wholehearted believers. The problem they face, as pointed out by God, is most people just wouldn’t get it. Consider this; Christians believe Jesus is the Son of God, which Jesus never claimed, and DNA evidence now indicates is not true. Jesus’ birthday was actually in April, but they celebrate his birth in December. And God notes religion was made up by people, who couldn’t possibly understand what He is or what He may or may not stand for. Those are made up human things.

Further complicating issues is this idea of “faith,” which is a non-instinctual trustworthiness of an idea which was manufactured by humans who, as noted above, do not have the capacity to explain what God is in the first place.

The atheists are attempting to promote goodness for goodness sake, rather than using fear to instill a sense of purpose in people. They are working toward convincing people morality is not mutually dependent upon religion, and in fact, is often mutually exclusive of it. Furthermore, by the grace of God, they are hearing first hand how to combat fundamentalists from God, Himself.

Through the new ad campaign, atheists can now have the wisdom to promote their cause while having the big guys support, and God can go about his business without having some group of idiots claim they know who He is. This looks to be a win-win. Now, if we could only convince the “fundies.”

Update: One atheist placard, stationed in the legislative building of Olympia, Washington was found in a ditch just an hour after being placed next to a nativity scene. I guess nothing shocks me these days…

Upon finding out about the removal of the sign, the athesists placed a temporary sign in it’s place: “The incident will not stifle the group’s message, Gaylor said. Before reports of the placard’s recovery, she said a temporary sign with the same message would be placed in the building’s Rotunda. Gaylor said a note would be attached saying, “Thou shalt not steal.”“

Look, I’m not an atheist, but you can’t help but howl out loud when you read the comments made by Mrs. Gaylor. Talk about sticking it to em. Everyone has their right to free speech in this country and fundamentalists who choose to deface or take away a persons right to free speech is a hypochrite. Look, you go ahead and believe in your God, I will try not to knock you for it. But don’t turn around and break your own rules because it doesn’t mesh with what I believe. Granted, the sign does slam those who follow religion but there is nothing slanderous or libelous about the sign. The State of Washington – City of Olympia allowed it, so leave it be morons!